At eighteen months old, my granddaughter is a joy to be around, but when she wants something, she wants it right now! She acts like she has absolutely no sense of time. She has worn many necklaces and in fact loves to wear and play with jewelry. One day I put a pearl necklace on her to wear when she got her pictures made. This necklace was not tight on her what- so- ever, but she decided she wanted it off! So I start to undo the necklace – it has a tiny clasp, so it was taking me longer than what she wanted to wait. She starts screaming like I was beating her up. It upset me so much that I start looking on the Internet, to check symptoms of different mental illnesses. Is she obsessive compulsive? Does she have a touch of autism? Is someone being abusive toward her? I check all of these illnesses and more. Thank goodness she didn’t seem to have any of the symptoms for anything I checked. So then what could be going on with her? I know from her actions, something is definitely going on. Could it be the little boys at the Baby Sitters are picking on her? She also seems to be way over- sensitive. Most babies cry when they want something, but she screams! She is also very empathetic. If she is around people who are upset, she too will become very upset.

So I continue to search the ‘net, and I find that many, many parents are going through the same thing. Many are at the end of their ropes, and my heart goes out to them. I’d like to be able to help them, but we’re in the same position. I finally find something that resembles what she is going through. The experts call it a High Needs Baby. The advice varies widely, from CIO, “Crying It Out,” which is by the way what my granddaughter’s doctor told my daughter to let her do. We didn’t care too much for that piece of advice, and it definitely didn’t help us. The advice goes from one extreme to the other, with the other being “Attachment Therapy,” actually attaching the baby to you and carrying her around at all times, to letting her sleep in-between you and your spouse at night. Most of the parents were trying just about everything, and we weren’t far behind them. We have ran the gambit of maybe she’s in pain, maybe she’s hungry, maybe she needs more one-on-one attention, etc … I am going to share with you the things I’ve learned from my many hours of searching. I hope you get some comfort out of knowing that there is a name to this kind of behavior, and you’re not alone.

You may find that your baby is a high needs baby as well. Newborns may protest group care with their high intensity cries demanding attention immediately. The cry from a high needs baby is not a request, but a demand. They cry loudly, feed voraciously, laugh with gusto, and protest more forcefully if their needs are not met to their satisfaction. Because they feel so deeply, they react more powerfully if their feelings are disturbed.

One mother says, “If I don’t feed him as soon as he fusses, he falls apart.” This seems to be a common statement among parents of high needs children.

You can read the intensity of the baby’s feelings in her body language. The fists are clenched, back arched, muscles tensed, as if ready for action. They scream when they cry as if something is urgently wrong.

As toddlers they have the drive to explore and experiment with everything and anything! No household item is safe. They’re hyperactive and hyper- tonic. Hyper- tonic refers to muscles that are frequently tensed and ready to go, tight and waiting to explode into action. The muscles and mind of a high needs child are seldom relaxed or still. They may stiffen their limbs and arch their backs when you hold them and are frequently seen doing back dives off your lap.

High needs babies can extract every ounce of energy from tired parents and then want more. The seemingly constant holding, nursing, and comforting leave little energy left for parent’s needs. High need babies seem to feed more frequently; most parents feel like they cannot feed their baby fast enough or meet their demands fast enough. They do not like waiting and do not readily accept alternatives.

The positive side is that parents who respond to and wisely channel the high needs child, will raise a person with determination, one who will fight for her rights and become a leader, instead of a follower.

Read Part 2 for more information of what you can do, and information about the high need child’s sleep pattern.

By: Tracey Wilson

It’s considerably easier to take care of older infants and toddlers than to care for a newborn baby. This is mainly because they are very delicate and have needs that they cannot easily express – they manifest this need only by crying.

One of the possible factors that contribute to post-natal depression is the difficulty of inexperienced – or even experienced – mothers with newborn baby care. To lessen the impact of this condition, it is helpful to read books about caring for infants. When you are informed about newborn baby care, chances are you won’t be caught flat-footed when something unusual happens to your child.

What are the important things to know?

Old wives’ tales regarding newborn baby care abound. Sometimes listening to too many of these superstitions make mothers worry unnecessarily over their baby’s health. Old people, for instance, constantly point out that it’s not advisable to bring the newborn baby out of the house.

The fact is, almost all babies need morning sunshine to counteract the early stages of jaundice. Taking the baby outside even a mere few weeks after birth is perfectly acceptable, as long as the infant is dressed in comfortable, cool clothes during summer and safely wrapped in a warm blanket during the cooler months.

When the baby is several weeks old, you might notice some changes on his skin – that is, his skin may become flaky and could even “shed.” It is not necessary to apply lotions or oils, as this is normal for newborns. In newborn baby care, the use of chemicals is generally avoided even as these are considered safe for adults.

Even the baby’s scalp will shed its top layer a few weeks after birth. In some cases, a little assistance is needed in removing this layer of dead cells. You can gently rub it away with a sponge while bathing the baby, but there is really no need to apply oils or lotions on his calp.

Many infants will also develop mild rashes. These are normal and newborn baby care dictates that they must not be treated with creams and ointments that may be too harsh for the baby’s skin. These rashes may be due to different factors. When the rashes get worse or seem too out of the normal, it’s best to consult the pediatrician about it.

Another common issue in newborn baby care is whether to carry the infant or not when it is crying. Parents often agree on not giving in to a child’s crying because this might spoil the child. However, at that age, it is nearly impossible to spoil a newborn.

Common newborn baby care sense will tell you that when a newborn baby cries, it’s because it needs something – that something could be anything from milk or a diaper change. Being comforted is also a basic need of newborns, so denying them this in their first few weeks of life may result in a profound psychological impact on the child.

What do I do with the stump?

Many new mothers who are not too well-vesred in newborn baby care often feel queasy about having to deal with the umbilical cord. Remember that the stump is nothing else but dead protein so accidentally touching it won’t cause any harm to the infant.

The important thing to know in newborn baby care, as regards the umbilical cord, is to keep it dry at all times. If it inevitably gets wet during bathing, take a cotton ball soaked with alcohol and clean the cord with it.

By the end of the second week, the stump will have fallen off. After this happens, refrain from bathing the infant more frequently than every two or three days, to allow it to completely heal.

By: David Faulkner